So you've glimpsed reality through a psychedelic trip, the confusing part is how to integrate the cactus and mushroom, which are so ethereal, into mundane daily routines. Terrence McKenna would say it's never meant to be integrated--that the mushroom and other entheogens are meant to blow you away, and that the moment you figure "it all" out is the moment you lose what the entheogens offer. Then there's Dr. Strassman who is confused about the spirit molecule--he has some interesting theories, but at the end of the book he admits he's baffled. I suppose I am too. I've cut down on cannabis and haven't seen "the other" in quite some time. I feel an overwhelming lonely feeling--sort of a swooning shame as well when I eat the body of Christ. The insect type aliens and other dimensional creatures could be mental constructions or real... it really doesn't matter though. What to do from day to day. Getting the word out has been done over and over... I made those videos in 2006 and am amazed at some of my responses. I don't check the thousands of blurbs on my youtube account. Seeing that entheogens are a true spiritual tool and trying to spread the word seems as futile as telling the truth about the 9/11 false flag operation. People know it or refuse it, but either way, nothing seems to change. Materialism has surrounded us and the world is being sucked dry, and some hope in a massive spiritual awakening, but even if this did happen and the annual 98 billion pounds of food that America puts in land fills goes to feed the hungry, there will always be competition and power hungry groups that rise up. Are the monks right? When National Geographic did a PET scan on the brains of different groups of people around the world, the Tibetan monks, who stare at a wall most of the day, are the happiest people on earth. Imagine that! But now try and convince the world to let go of their dreams, or even try to convince your own mind to be still and just see who wins the mental debate. I can't even sit still for an hour without feeling agitated; without feeling like I'm wasting time as my mind leaps from thought to thought with mocking persistence. What's the answer? Forget that... we have the answer, and the answer is stop. Or is it? I certainly wouldn't agree that everyone should stop what they're doing and stare at a wall. I wouldn't condemn Mother Teresa for her work. But my work and your work... our material goals? Whether it's maintaining our life style, saving up for a green car to commute to work or school in--is it all "good". I'm not depressed, but I'm not fulfilled and the glimpses I've had into what I consider real, or at least as "real" as I can perceive--well, I'll just say the answer would be to give it all away. I think that's about right. Just give it all away until there's nothing left but your body and mind freaking out and not knowing when the next meal is coming. Schizophrenic and Bi Polar people do it all the time, but it never works out for them. They get medicated or end up dying, they either learn from their mistakes or get locked away. But not the monks. They realize they don't have the answer and so they give it all away with a purpose. Then of course, what religion condones the use of psychedelics? The church of Santo Daime uses ayahuasca as the blood of Christ, but like any organized religion, the day to day mundane life has it's drama, its corruption and perhaps the Shaman is just as confused as the rest of us. Happiness is definitely the goal, even if happiness isn't truth; if there's fulfillment, then I'll take it any day over my current cup which is half full... at least from my point of view.